Dear Intuitive Friend,
My boyfriend and I are living together, and he recently got a great job opportunity in a big city across the state. This is all good, except for the fact that we currently reside in my small hometown where I’ve lived all my life, and I’m comfortable here. Additionally, he grew up wealthy and makes great money, whereas I grew up in poverty. Wealth, fancy things, and all that comes along with that make me feel uncomfortable and insecure at best. He’s supposed to fly me to live with him in his new place, but I just don’t think I’ll be comfortable. He’s an absolutely amazing and smart guy who takes care of everything. I love him! How do I get out of my comfort zone?
Signed, Comfortable with Less
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Dear Comfortable with Less,
It certainly sounds like a wonderful opportunity for your boyfriend, and could be a great new start for you both. It’s natural to feel uncomfortable in new situations. I think you see that pushing yourself to experience new things will only help you learn and grow as a person. Having new experiences as a couple is also a way to grow your relationship. You will still be you!
My advice is to have an open and honest conversation with your boyfriend. Let him know your fears, hopes, and expectations. If he is the man you are describing him to be, he should be receptive to the discussion.
Lastly, make sure you have your own safety net and support system. My hopes for you are that everything goes well with the move and your relationship, and that you eventually love life in the big city. However, you should be prepared financially and emotionally in case things don’t work out. It doesn’t mean you don’t have faith in the relationship or move. It just means that you’re being smart about it, and I think preparation will ease some of your concerns.
Best of luck!
With love, Intuitive Friend
Michelle is a writer, a teacher, and a married mother of two beautiful and spirited little girls. In her column “Ask That Intuitive Friend,” Michelle answers readers’ questions regarding family matters, friendship, and relationships by combining lived experience and pure intuition. Readers are encouraged to submit their questions via email: (Pocono Update email here) and follow Michelle’s memoir-in-progress, “Twice Upon an Orphan,” at https://michellemarina.substack.com/.
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